Malfunction

"Malfunction" is the thirteenth episode of The Game of Life.

Plot
This episode was written between February 2021 and May 2021.

Previously...

> Aaron heads over to Golf and Zest’s house. Golf doesn't seem to remember Aaron, despite previously living with him and Aaron has to introduce himself to Golf again. Aaron talks to Golf about the benefits of music but Golf doesn’t listen. Aaron then turns on the stereo and he ends up in a fight with Golf.

> The fight leaves Aaron on the floor, physically uncomfortable. But despite this Aaron claims to have won the fight unscathered, while Golf leaves the fight with a black eye. Aaron is sad about Golf’s evilness.

> Zest returns home and instantly gets set on fire by another villain. Zest extinguishes himself but remains angry that Golf didn’t come to save him.

> Johnny yells at Golf for not helping him and Golf responds by beating him up, leaving him with multiple injuries including black eyes and a bloody nose. Zest doesn’t understand what he did to deserve that and calls the police. But it would seem that Golf’s evil powers are corrupting the world as when the officers arrive all they do is set each other on fire for some reason, making it impossible for Zest to report Golf to the police.

> The next day an armed burglar invades the house terrifying Golf and Zest, the burglar then shoots Golf, leaving him with severe wounds. Golf goes to have surgery but before that he attracts deadly insects to the burglar. The surgery has a 90% success rate, and it’s likely that it will succeed.

> It fails.

> Golf comes home and some strangers cry after hearing about his wound. Golf then goes to have another surgery and it succeeds and his wound is stitched. When he gets home everyone hugs him and celebrates. But at the same time, a serial killer is going on a killing spree, causing people to go from celebrating to screaming in fear within a few seconds.

> It is revealed that Golf’s corruption is complete and music might be gone forever...

At the SBFW household, Aaron tries to talk to Aidan about the latest albums but Aidan responds by yelling at him. This response confuses Aaron and he fears that this may have something to do with Golf. He decides to buy a stereo to check to make sure that music is still around.

He turns on the stereo only for Garfield to instantly possess the stereo and turn it off. Aaron again suspects that this has something to do with Golf. Aaron goes around to Golf and Zest’s house to speak with Golf.

Also a serial killer tries to murder someone inside the SBFW house and Aidan sleeps through the entire thing.

At Golf and Zest’s house, Aaron immediately asks Golf what his problem is, this makes Golf cry as he claims that the drama isn’t completely his fault and that he’s allowed to feel bitter about what’s happened between them… Aaron responds to this by mocking his taste (or in this case hatred) for music. This still leaves Golf angry with him and he goes to bed crying.

Aaron then takes a shit in Golf and Zest’s toilet. Later that night Zest comes home, with a black eye for some reason. A stranger then walks into the house and fights Zest randomly, this is likely a side effect from Golf’s world corruption.

Aaron then walks up to Golf and Zest’s wheelie bin and kicks it over. The arsonist Willard, who was in the previous episode, then returns and starts loads of fires in the street, setting a troublemaking child on fire in the process. Aaron then extinguishes all the fires.

After extinguishing all the fires, Aaron decides that he needs to have a shower and uses Golf and Zest’s shower. Golf tells him that this behaviour is inappropriate and asks him to stop. Aaron responds by having a fight with Golf. The fight leaves neither side happy and they end up in another fight, this time the fight is to the death and will end all the problems, and Golf ends up being killed from this fight.

The fight could be seen by several strangers in the house but none of them did anything. When the Grim Reaper shows up Aaron seems to have realized what he’s done and pleads for Golf’s lives, but the plea fails and Golf is really gone…

Aaron heads home and Johnny Zest (who still has a black eye) comes back to the house and knowing that Golf has passed away he plans a party. The party isn’t for Golf’s death, it’s actually a coming out party as Zest comes out as gay. He invites Funky Kong, Aidan, Aaron and SpongeBob (who for some reason is in his human form) over. But some uninvited visitors show up, including a bully who walks up to Zest and says “Hey, listen to this sick freestyle ‘Boom boom tisk boom bo boom tisk, this bitch right here will put you at risk’ pretty sick right?!” This understandably makes Zest depressed.

Zest calls a hotline and has a chat with a therapist and he feels better. Only for an armed robber to then invade the house, terrifying everyone. A shot can then be heard and at first it’s thought that someone was shot by the robber, but the robber then falls in the bathroom with a bullet wound in her stomach meaning someone shot the robber. Everyone then starts crying and the coming out party is unsuccessful. Zest then tries to have a blind date with another man, which is also unsuccessful. (writer’s note: for some reason when making the blind date storyline the game at first wanted him to have a blind date with one of the serial killers)

Back at the SBFW household the household gets invited to a birthday party for someone they don’t remember ever meeting. At the party someone who’s in a relationship with someone else is making out with another woman. This results in several fights between the other woman and his girlfriend, which the man is clearly enjoying. This annoys SpongeBot and Aaron but not Garfield, he finds it all hilarious. Also at some point during this SpongeBot fell over and everybody laughed apparently.

History seems to be repeating itself as SpongeBot proceeds to bash the cheater’s head in with an axe, he manages to dodge and he beats SpongeBot up. She doesn’t seem to understand what she did to deserve that for some reason…

Aidan proceeds to call the police and SpongeBot then stabs the cheater with a knife in extremely graphic detail. She then gets told that she has earned 459 bucks on her day off from work.

SpongeBot then tries and fails to kill the cop, after failing she walks off. But Aidan doesn’t want her to get in any trouble so he proceeds to stab the cop for her. This makes Aidan feel unstoppable as he has managed to get away with murdering a cop.

SpongeBot and Aidan then decide to go fishing because what else would you do after killing 2 people…

Johnny Zest then goes to the Kong household to buy weed from Funky Kong but doesn’t have enough money to purchase anything, making Funky Kong angry. Adrienne then asks Funky if he thinks she can cook, Funky says no.

It is then revealed that today is Amara’s birthday and the household throw a party, not much happens at the party but they hire a caterer to bake a cake for the party and the cake ends up being poor quality. Adrienne decides to bake a better cake herself. Immediately after Amara blows out the candles on the cake it is revealed that she will soon have her first period…

April decides to go on a blind date with another girl. They’re talking outside the house when SpongeBob, who completely missed the party, shows up. He claims to be stressed from work and out of nowhere, sets April’s date on fire. April claims she’s excited over witnessing mischief from a villain. Then she claims to be extremely stressed over witnessing mischief from a villain. April’s date is fine but it remains unknown why SpongeBob tried to set her on fire.

Then, arsonist Willard Kline returns to the house and starts a bunch of fires, he even sets the wheelie bin on fire. The fire department are called and they deal with the fire. But for some reason, even after all the fires are put out, the household’s sprinklers don’t turn off and continue spraying water for several hours.

A few days later a new restaurant has opened up in Newcrest. The Kong Household decide to have a meal there really early in the morning. Hallie isn’t allowed to go and she gets sent to daycare.

The restaurant claims to be a formal place so Adrienne, April, and Amara dress up appropriately for the occasion. But when they walk in they are shocked to find out that one of the restaurant’s waiters is Wario.

The household stays at the restaurant for hours without ordering anything, they are there long enough to witness a waitress assault a customer. Eventually at 9 AM they finally decide to order some food, but by that point Amara has already gone to school and April calls in “sick” to her school.

They continue waiting for their food until it arrives 2 hours later at 11 AM.

Somebody calls Funky asking to buy weed. He accepts. While Funky waits he witnesses a waiter yell at a customer and then both of them storm out abruptly. Another waiter (who is still dressed up as Wario) can also be seen looking confused by what just happened.

The person who called Funky to buy weed never arrives. Funky decides to call them back and they agree to do a drug deal at a clothes shop filled with people (flawless plan, I know).

When they arrive at the clothes shop the customer immediately runs off into the distance and disappears, confusing Funky. Funky decides to stay at the clothes shop and finds himself attracted to one of the customers. He starts a conversation with them when someone else calls Funky asking to buy amphetamine. She shows up and Funky gives her a bag right in front of several customers and employees.

Funky continues chatting with the person he felt attracted to (even learning that she's single) and brings her over to the house. When they arrive back home Funky immediately goes to sleep leaving the girl on her own. Eventually she leaves but she still claims to have had fun...

The rest of the household are also asleep except for Amara who is hungry and decides to order a pizza at 3 in the morning. She then gets a text message from a vampire claiming that she has a nice neck. The vampire then knocks at the door and she invites them in to eat pizza with her, which he does. SpongeBob wakes up and he seems annoyed that Amara has let a vampire in the house but Amara doesn’t seem to care.