Hitting The Ground

"Hitting the Ground" is a silly goofy episode of The Game of Life.

Plot
Previously…

> Funky goes to open his drug store and just a few minutes after opening it, he has customers! Loads of customers are in the store, all having a nice chat while in the nude.

> The sergeant arrests a naked Funky Kong.

> Funky is released and says that he "reckons the smart thing to do now is to lay low for a while." He is informed that a trial is coming up "in a couple of days." The smart move right now is to get a hold of a lawyer…

> The next day, Funky has his day in court. "Best of luck! Chances are he is going to need it…" A few hours later it starts to snow and Funky's trial is over. Funky was found guilty in a misdemeanor for his drug offenses. He has to pay a fine of $7,443 (I have no idea if this includes law firm costs or whatever) and has been given a short prison sentence starting immediately…

Part 1
Graggle is gaming and Mr. Krabs is back floating in the swimming pool while looking sad, contemplating the meaning of life perhaps.

There's a thunderstorm going on outside and Graggle is scared of the thunderstorm. But there's also this really cool plant outside so Graggle runs outside to investigate it. Soon after, there's a loud clap of thunder, and Graggle has been struck by lightning… The plant was a Plumbite. It is composed of both Phozone and Plumbobus, with there being a touch more Phozone.

Graggle has a bath to help, Funky gains reputation in prison (the inmates think he's alright) and APRIL HAS BEEN ACCEPTED INTO UNIVERSITY! YAY!

The game crashed.

…alright let's start from the beginning.

SpongeBob laughs like a maniac in front of one of his children while April teleports from the kitchen to the living room, then back to the kitchen again. Please help.

Funky is trying to find his place in prison, but finds the harsh environment difficult to maneuver. Up until now he has tried to stay to himself, but is uncertain if that is the best survival approach. Time to make a decision… Funky decides to be proactive in terms of socializing with the other prisoners. He decides to

The rest of the text box didn't show up.

Mr. Krabs is asleep but is also sad about Funky being in prison (despite the two not getting along in the past) and wants something fun to do. He decides to go outside (😲) and talk to some people (😲😲). He starts chatting with a man called Timothy and says that Timothy has a "really good voice." A woman called Cali soon enters the conversation and Timothy suddenly runs off somewhere. It's Cali who has the "erratic" trait. Mr. Krabs continues talking to Cali, who starts messing around in a pile of leaves, when he suddenly starts burning to death in the sun (it was snowing earlier on). Timothy then returns and Mr. Krabs decides to stab his chest in front of Graggle, I guess it's because Timothy ran off before. After stabbing Timothy, Mr. Krabs burns the pile of leaves (to try to destroy evidence?) and accidentally sets himself on fire briefly.

Graggle calls the police and a happy Mr. Krabs washes the blood off of himself before going to sleep for about 2 seconds. The cops never arrest Mr. Krabs and the next morning, as a tense Graggle struggles to cook food, Mr. Krabs spots a terrifying individual in public. Mr. Krabs introduces himself by flaunting his wealth and the individual walks off. But not before Mr. Krabs catches up with them and swings a bat, killing them. This causes a child, who was walking past, to scream.

Funky is at the gym (in prison) benchpressing with his new friends. He has become stronger during his stay in prison but the one spotting him is adding on more and more weight. It has now come to a point where Funky is uncertain if he is going to be able to lift it and a crowd has started to gather. Time to make a decision. Funky summons his inner beast and pulls out a beast-like strength he didn't know existed. He manages to lift the added weight and sets a new personal record. The mumbling of the crowd of onlookers gives out a vibe of them being impressed and he gains prison reputation.

After a few hours of not much happening (I think Graggle said that deja vu was just a brain processing lag at one point), Amara is suddenly heard screaming "touch me and I'll sue you! I've already booked a lawyer" at Mr. Krabs. Graggle is also present and seems shocked by the encounter. Mr. Krabs, however, still feels confident. Graggle appears to try to make Amara feel better, but it doesn't work and Amara decides to beat Mr. Krabs up. After Mr. Krabs is beaten up, he falls asleep (I don't know if he was knocked out or just fell asleep), but after he wakes up Amara punches his guts. SpongeBob seems more upset at Amara beating Mr. Krabs up than by what Mr. Krabs actually did. It soon becomes clear that Amara beating Mr. Krabs up has left Mr. Krabs' stomach in pain from the injuries and Mr. Krabs starts to cry.

On the plus side, April was accepted into university!

(ok so there was a whole plot about april at university but it was really boring and went on for hours in real life so i can't be bothered to rewatch it and write it all down so just pretend there's something really cool that happened here)

Wow, I can't believe that happened. Let's move on.

Part 2 (The Nintendo Household)


They're just standing outside in the snow. I don't know why. Eventually they enter the house and Luigi and Wario go to sleep in Snorlax beds, Waluigi makes the odd decision of napping on a bench outside… In the snow. And Mario plays video games on the computer… For a few minutes before he goes to sleep as well.

Luigi wakes up and instantly sees that there's a ghost in the computer. What is Luigi gonna do about this? …smoke weed apparently. After smoking some weed, Luigi rudely introduces himself to the ghost before trying to murder him. This doesn't work as the ghost is already dead. Luigi gets stressed out about this briefly.

A very inspired Mario decides to write a children's book called "Super Fucking Mario" as some cops do nothing in the background and leave. Waluigi sets fire to a pile of leaves, in the snow. It stops snowing and turns into a thunderstorm, the fire stops and so Waluigi sets fire to the leaves again. Waluigi goes back inside where Luigi is being beaten up and verbally abused by 2 strangers. The assault seemingly knows Luigi out, as his head is under the kitchen table. He gets up and tries to fight one of the bullies away, despite being visibly injured.

Luigi is unable to find the bully, so heads back inside. The assault seems to have damaged his memory, as Luigi finds the bong he smoked from earlier on the floor and asks what it is. "He needs to find out who this [bong] belongs to, as it is sure as hell not his!" Outraged that he found drugs in the house, Luigi rolls and smokes a joint before asking Mario if the bong belongs to him. Mario says that he has never seen the bong before in his life and that Luigi has to believe him. This makes Luigi extremely annoyed as he still hasn't gotten to who brought a bong into the house. Luigi puts the bong on the floor and "admires his new possession" before going downstairs to look at his weed plants.

The household now has no internet (let's just say their last ISP couldn't find Markiplier) so Waluigi schedules an installation while Luigi feels feverish and "hot, like super hot, and not that good, ready for his close-up kinda way" (yes this is what the game said). Waluigi schedules the "Simzlink" internet installation for the evening.

At like 6pm, when some of the household are asleep for some reason, Mario tries to cook something and the outdoor grill catches on fire. Everyone jumps up and runs to where the fire is, that's safe. Wario extinguishes the fire, Luigi screams and Mario says that "Fires can be a vital source of heat or a calming warmth on a cold night. Mario saw first hand the more destructive side of fire. Mario never wants to see that again." OK Mario. The household receives an insurance payment of $520 for items that were damaged in the fire. Despite the fire having been extinguished, the household gathers outside of the house for safety. As for Waluigi, well he's found out he has a fear of fire, "that dreadful feeling looms over Waluigi as he discovers something new about himself. A fear that wasn't there before, growing inside. Ready to overcome Waluigi into paralysis at any moment" what are you talking about?

As if that wasn't enough, Waluigi then decides he's scared of ghosts too. "Waluigi always felt confident in his belief in the supernatural. Something about that last ghost sighting unnerved him. Seeing is believing, and now Waluigi can't get the thought out of his head that Ghosts could be everywhere. Always watching, always ready to jump out and scare him at any moment." What is with this guy? Waluigi goes to take a panicked poop but then realizes he can cure both of his phobias at once, and so he tries to burn the ghost with his flamethrower. Now this doesn't work as the ghost is already dead. But don't worry, Luigi saves the day by releasing the ghost's spirit to "the netherworld" and Waluigi finally takes his panicked poop.

The cops arrive and show their guns, it looks like one cop put their gun in Mario's ear. I think it was actually Mario who called the cops in the first place. Mario responds to this situation by getting up and going to the toilet. Mario sees Waluigi on the way and Waluigi says he's glad Mario doesn't think his "llama jokes" are getting old, what?

There's a flea market going on, Waluigi, Mario and Luigi decide to go there. As they shop, Mario starts getting cold due to it being the winter season now. Mario continues to shop and even tries to haggle with somebody, who responds with "Are you crazy? I'm already losing money at these prices." Sure.

A very uncomfortable Mario decides to order food and finds himself attracted to the food vendor.



Mario asks her if she's single and she closes the stall immediately, and then says that she's single. OH GOD.



As he's about to continue flirting Mario freezes to death and falls to the floor. All members of the household quickly ran to his assistance, including Wario who I believe was having a bath before being sent to the flea market, but they're too late as the Grim Reaper reaps Mario's soul. The household also missed their Simzlink installation. Wario calls Mario's ghost and Mario's main concern about the situation is that he looked like a fool and that "they're probably laughing at him." Also, he wants to steal objects.

Somehow Mario comes back to life (don't ask) and manages to ask the food vendor out on a date. The date takes place at the Nintendo household where, uh oh, Waluigi is also attracted to the food vendor (whose full name is Guadalupe Loyd). Nevertheless, the date continues, Mario and Guadalupe kiss, she goes to sleep in one of the household's beds… And that's pretty much all that happens during this date… Oh and somehow Mario's death meant the "Super Fucking Mario" book was scrapped so he has to start writing it all over again.

Part 3 (The Kong Household)
Funky is hanging out by the cells when suddenly he hears someone yell "INSPECTION!" The inmate who has previously talked about his cocaine connection gives Funky a flip phone and asks him to hide it. The inmate then goes on about how Funky needs to do the right thing. Funky refuses to hide the phone and it turns into a heated argument that lasts until the officers on inspection duty arrive. One of which takes the phone out of Funky's hands. They ask who the phone belongs to and Funky fesses up to it and gets time deducted from his sentence for being a "good and loyal rat." Funky's "friend" tries to punch him but Funky dodges it and knocks the assailant out cold before getting dragged off to solitary confinement to cool down.

I hope you enjoyed that because it's the most normal thing that happens in this segment. Mr. Krabs makes an evil laugh while cooking some pancakes and… Another prison bit.

OK so Funky has been in solitary confinement for quite some time now (it's been like 5 minutes) and he feels as if he is starting to lose his marbles. One day (it's been like 5 minutes) he hears a whistling that appears to come from the cell next door. He replies by whistling back. He starts to strike up a philosophical conversation with the whistler. After some hours of talking (IT'S BEEN 5 MINUTES), the inmate tries to convince Funky that he should hurt himself to get out of solitary as that would move him to the infirmary. Funky is now starting to doubt that the inmate's voice is even real and that it might be all in his head. Time to make a decision...

Funky stops replying and as soon as he stops replying he is even more convinced that the voice was just a horrid auditory hallucination. Mostly because the voice stops talking to him, indefinitely. Mr. Krabs goes to the Krusty Krab and opens it up for business. Then he goes to sleep behind the boat.

Somebody walks into the restaurant with a massive key in his hand and instantly throws up in the toilet. Mr. Krabs is annoyed at this and awakens from his brief nap and rudely introduces himself to the customer. As per tradition (this situation happened before) he puts the customer in the trunk of his car and kidnaps him, taking him to a cave. Not overreacting at all.

Mr. Krabs doesn't seem to be a big fan of the cave he chose to take the customer to and neither is the customer who pleads for Mr. Krabs to let him free. Mr. Krabs doesn't listen and proceeds to torment the customer. At least we got some nice shots of the cave while he was doing it.



After torturing the customer, Mr. Krabs (who is obviously not the victim in this) cries. He then goes to check his Twitter and is shocked to find that there is no Wi-Fi in the cave. Mr. Krabs then does an evil laugh and tries to drug the customer. It looks nothing like drugging. Mr. Krabs then calls the family of the customer and asks them to send over some money to his credit card. They agree and this could all be over soon.

Nope.

So the family arrives and the customer repeatedly tries to plead to Mr. Krabs for freedom again, despite the family already being there and he could easily go home if he wishes to. Then, one of the family members pulls out a gun and shoots Mr. Krabs. This gives him a bullet wound which he would need surgery to fix, but he can't fix it because the family won't take the person he kidnapped back. WHAT IS GOING ON?!

In the end, Mr. Krabs decides to ask the family member to send ransom money to his credit card again. They send over 5k, Mr. Krabs goes up to the family member who shot at him (possibly threatens them) and they hand over 25k in cash, though they don't seem happy about it. Are we done here? Mr. Krabs is dying, I would like to sort that out.

Mr. Krabs heads home and…



Looks like it snowed a lot while he was gone. Mr. Krabs goes to have some coffee, ignoring the bullet wound he has. And…



Uh oh. OK so, Mr. Krabs was supposed to die in Graggle's arms, but the game glitched and Mr. Krabs ended up becoming the invisible man.



The Grim Reaper shows up and Graggle instantly tries to plead for his good friend Mr. Krabs (they became good friends after Mr. Krabs was already dead by the way). The Grim Reaper seemingly accepts the plea and Mr. Krabs says that Graggle is his hero and that he won't forget his heroic actions. Despite this, Mr. Krabs' dead body is still on the floor until it gets… Put into an urn. WHAT?! Oh God, Funky is having problems in prison again.

Funky is still in solitary confinement, but things are looking better. (it's been 20 minutes this time) There is a female correctional officer on duty who he has been getting acquainted with. She seemed soothing and gentle at first, and after a while they started getting friendly. The friendly chatter turned more flirtatious, and now their conversations have turned dangerously close to verbal foreplay… HUH.

Right now they are in the middle of a conversation when the correctional officer suddenly says "If I were to open your cell right now and walk in there, we could do whatever we want. No one would ever notice...." Time to make a decision...

Funky says no. The correctional officer agrees, and lets Funky know that she was of course just kidding. He can hear by the tone of her voice that this is a downright lie, however. Funky feels devastatedly (is this even a word?) heartbroken. If the setting and scene were different this might have turned into a beautiful love story. She stays and talks to Funky for a while, and the romantic and sexual tension is so high it is almost unbearable. Funky is filled with an immense sadness when she leaves. WHAT WAS THAT?!

Back to the house now, where the Grim Reaper starts making a drink at the household bar and Graggle somehow brings Mr. Krabs back to life, I don't know I just used the sim commands because the Grim Reaper lied to me earlier on.

Mr. Krabs goes back to the Krusty Krab (which didn't close even during the kidnapping) and one of the customers that turns up is a vampire who keeps turning into a bat, Mr. Krabs welcomes them to the restaurant. Another customer is the restaurant critic Darrin, the same one Adrienne had sex with in season 2 nonetheless, who Mr. Krabs also welcomes in an attempt to get the restaurant ratings up. Darrin complains that he's not happy about the wait times and then changes his mind seconds later and says that the service is fantastic. Good, Mr. Krabs was about to throw a helicopter at him.

Meanwhile, the people on the table next to Darrin start arguing. Mr. Krabs checks on them and they say that their meal got there in no time. Mr. Krabs offers Darrin free drinks and the other table starts arguing again so Mr. Krabs offers them a free dessert.

Patrick, as the waiter, brings over food for Darrin and instantly drops it all on the floor. Mr. Krabs offers some training for Patrick. After a whole lot of nothing (I think Mr. Krabs checked himself out in the mirror and came to the conclusion he is very attractive at one point), Mr. Krabs closes the restaurant. On the way out, one of the people who kept arguing slips on the snow and the vampire disappears as a bat.

Another Funky prison story now. Funky is about to be released from solitary confinement. His relationship with the correctional officer has grown even stronger during his time in there. During their final passionate encounter before he is released Funky gets an idea that might make life easier on him inside the prison walls. If he gets her to smuggle in some amphetamine he could easily peddle it to addicted and former addicted inmates to gain some prison rep and earn some cash. He is on the fence about asking her, but realizes he needs to make a quick decision before the other correctional officers come to escort him back to his cell. He decides not to do it. They have a lengthy, romantic goodbye, and the correctional officer says she will try to get transferred over to his unit to make sure they stay in touch. Funky has a bad feeling that he missed out on a great opportunity, but it might've been for the best. Shortly thereafter some correctional officers come by to pick him up, escorting him back to his cell.

SpongeBob has a drink and sends a drunk text to April. April responds with "Hey, I get that you are having a party and all, but that message was largely incomprehensible. Please stop drunk texting me!" SpongeBob is not having a party. SpongeBob has another drink while Mr. Krabs plays a sports game. The drink SpongeBob has makes him feel flirty and he does a sexy pose to Graggle before flirting with him. Of course, Graggle rejects these advances.

Amara comes home from school, getting- AMARA LOOK OUT!



AMARA!

Part 4 (The Kong Household)
Out of nowhere, when she was about to enter the house, a car zooms through the house and runs Amara over. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob slowly walk outside to find Amara on the floor. SpongeBob starts crying (although he doesn't actually become sad, likely because he's drunk), Mr. Krabs cries at first but soon breaks into laughter, likely because of the incident at the start of the episode. SpongeBob tries to plead for Amara, as Mr. Krabs cheers the Grim Reaper on, but it's too late and Amara is gone for good. Mr. Krabs cheers yet again, as does a pizza delivery person walking past the house.

SpongeBob turns to Mr. Krabs, staring blankly for a few seconds. The two then shake hands, before continuing to stare blankly at each other. SpongeBob then walks backwards and puts his thumbs down, expressing disapproval at Mr. Krabs' evil ways. Mr. Krabs shows no care and laughs. Mr. Krabs gets a notification saying that he made money from his investment this week, SpongeBob responds angrily, yelling at him "How much money have You stolen from innocent people?" Mr. Krabs shows no care again and SpongeBob responds by kicking him in the balls, as well as punching and grabbing at them, repeatedly to the point where Mr. Krabs passes out on the floor and SpongeBob just walks off confidently.

Ultimately none of this really has an effect on Mr. Krabs who is feeling fulfilled says that he has "checked one more task off the list of things that he wants to do" (he wanted to make a new enemy) although he is sad because his "crotch has seen better days" and the "extreme crotch pain" will leave him stumbled for some time. When Mr. Krabs gets up off of the floor, he goes to bed.

SpongeBob seems to recover from Amara's death quickly as he plays with Hallie and has another drink. Then it's time for another Funky prison story. Funky is walking out into the prison yard, when suddenly all hell breaks loose. Inmates from all across the yard start attacking guards and each other with everything from prison made shivs to their bare hands. In seconds the entire place turns into a surreal warzone. Funky decides not to join in, he finds a hiding spot underneath some stairs. He manages to stay put there until the riot is over and the rioters are subdued. Unfortunately some of the other inmates noticed him hiding. Let's hope he doesn't get too much flack for it in the prison yard.

Luckily, Funky had nothing to worry about whatsoever as finally he is free from jail and walks his way back home from the police station. Once home, SpongeBob and Funky hug.



Aww…

SpongeBob goes up to Mr. Krabs, who is eating burgers outside, and… APOLOGIZES TO HIM?! HE LAUGHED AT THE DEATH OF YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER AND YOU RIGHTFULLY KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS!!!

Mr. Krabs seemingly rejects SpongeBob's apology and then breaks down in tears, he's been doing that a lot today. SpongeBob leaves…. Then comes back and Mr. Krabs insults him, the two now despise each other.